Undergoing divorce can be a physically and emotionally stressful affair. It can be more complicated if there are properties and children involved. Before the divorce is finalized, the couple should agree on certain terms, including child support, spousal support, and asset and property division among a few. You can consult a family attorney in Denver to help guide you through the complicated process of divorce.
Parenting can be challenging following a divorce, especially if there are feelings of resentment toward your ex-spouse. It is more than giving material and financial needs for your children. At the end of the day, children should not think it’s their fault why you and your ex-spouse had a falling out.
How to co-parent successfully
Setting aside your emotions will play an important role in a successful co-parenting. Even if there is a feeling of resentment towards your ex-spouse, your children should be one of your major priorities right now (aside from achieving peace of mind, of course).
One study revealed that a child’s overall well-being heavily relied on the co-parent’s relationship quality. A good co-parenting relationship can also reduce the risk of depression and other mental health issues in children.
Although keeping it civil following a messy divorce can be easier said than done, it is still possible to make co-parenting successfully work. Here are some tips for a successful co-parenting.
1. Let them know about your family situation.
It is your children’s right to know your family’s current situation that they are not the reason why you and your ex-spouse parted ways. That your children should be assured that even if you and your ex-spouse are not together anymore, both of you will still and always be their parents.
2. Spend time with your children, physically and emotionally.
It doesn’t really matter how often you see your children. It’s all about the quality of your relationship between your children even if you and your ex-spouse are already divorced. Be there for your child in the most important days of their lives — whether it’s their ballet recital, a baseball game, or their graduation.
3. Never talk bad about your ex-spouse in front of your children.
Ill feelings aside, it is also important to show respect towards your ex-spouse especially when the children are around. Otherwise, seeing a conflict between the parents can be mentally and emotionally damaging to the child. Worse, it may build up resentment towards the other parent, which should not be the case.
4. Ensure effective communication with your ex-spouse.
As mentioned, it is important to set aside feelings of anger for your children’s sake. Try to treat your ex-spouse as a “business partner” to ensure your children’s overall well-being. When making suggestions, say it as a request (e.g., “Are you willing to…?” or “Is it okay to…?”) rather than a statement (e.g., “We should do this” or “I want to…”).
These are only some of the best tips for a successful co-parenting. Ill feelings towards your ex-spouse can be inevitable. However, your kids should not suffer the consequences of your divorce. Rather, this should be an opportunity to work together as a well-functional family, even if you and your ex-spouse are not together anymore.